if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We have started to decorate penises.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Text me some of your sweat
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