3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
