i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
