can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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