just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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