nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I faked an abortion last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize