I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
