By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.