ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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