I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
