she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
