Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
What a dumb baby whore.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize