I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize