he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
