If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
