Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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