My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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