I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
