this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
