Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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