Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
