Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
