Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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