That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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