wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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