can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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