do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
