I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
