God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
