Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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