I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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