ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
