what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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