Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
