good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
