yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
