He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
