Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
