I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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