You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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