So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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