maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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