I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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