Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
worst night to have a conscience
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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