Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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