In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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