watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize