She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
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I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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