even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
