her vagine was all disorganized.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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