I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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