I just threw up on my dentist
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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