I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How's work?
Spinning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
