How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
