But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
