I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You're like the curious george of whores
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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