What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize