I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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