I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think my vagina is haunted
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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