people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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