I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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