Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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